I love sleeping, but I never want to go to sleep early…. We stay up late every night, regret it every morning, then do it all over again.

If a dentist makes money off people with bad teeth, why would I use toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?

Student: Would you punish me for smoothing I didn’t do?

Why do we put Round Pizza in Square Box and eat it in Triangles? 

I am Multi-tasking, I can Listen, Ignore & Forget at the same time.

Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.