Sometimes my brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it’s never found again.

Student: Would you punish me for smoothing I didn’t do?

Student! My father’s name is LAUGHING and mother’s name is SMILING.

They said don’t give up your dream. So i went back to sleep.

Wife: It’s my bad luck that I married you. Otherwise, a lot of smart men were interested in me.

Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.