“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

Teacher! Whats is the shortest month in the year? Student! May, it has only three letters.

Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar…

They say we learn from our mistakes…. That’s why I’m making as many as possible.

Wife: It’s my bad luck that I married you. Otherwise, a lot of smart men were interested in me.