I changed my car horn to Gun Shots sounds… People move out of the way much faster now.

Marriage is a Three-Ring Circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, and SuffeRing.

When a Girl Says ‘What?’ It’s not because she didn’t hear you, She’s just giving you chance to change what you said.

Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

Student: Would you punish me for smoothing I didn’t do?

I am Multi-tasking, I can Listen, Ignore & Forget at the same time.