“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

When a Girl Says ‘What?’ It’s not because she didn’t hear you, She’s just giving you chance to change what you said.

I changed my car horn to Gun Shots sounds… People move out of the way much faster now.

Teacher! What is the purpose of having school?

Student! My father’s name is LAUGHING and mother’s name is SMILING.

They say we learn from our mistakes…. That’s why I’m making as many as possible.

Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.