Yes Officer, I Did See The “Speed Limit” Sign, I Just Didn’t See You.

Wife: It’s my bad luck that I married you. Otherwise, a lot of smart men were interested in me.

If a dentist makes money off people with bad teeth, why would I use toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?

I am Multi-tasking, I can Listen, Ignore & Forget at the same time.

Student: Would you punish me for smoothing I didn’t do?

Him: “I was a fool when I married you.” Her: “I know, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.