Yes Officer, I Did See The “Speed Limit” Sign, I Just Didn’t See You.

Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

May be if we start telling people that the brain is an app, they’ll start using it!

Teacher! What is the purpose of having school?

Doctor ! Are you involved in any dangerous sports? Patient ! Yes, sometime i disagree with my wife.

I changed my car horn to Gun Shots sounds… People move out of the way much faster now.

Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong!