Student: Would you punish me for smoothing I didn’t do?

Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

Teacher: How old is your mother?

When a Girl Says ‘What?’ It’s not because she didn’t hear you, She’s just giving you chance to change what you said.

Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this into future tense

Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.