I am Multi-tasking, I can Listen, Ignore & Forget at the same time.

If a dentist makes money off people with bad teeth, why would I use toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?

Teacher: What happened in 1809? Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.

Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

Yes Officer, I Did See The “Speed Limit” Sign, I Just Didn’t See You.

Husband got shocked while reading his wife’s school report card…

Teacher! “One day our country will be corruption free.” Which tense is it? Student! “Future Impossible Tense”