Yes Officer, I Did See The “Speed Limit” Sign, I Just Didn’t See You. Continue ReadingYes Officer, I Did See The “Speed Limit” Sign, I Just Didn’t See You.
If a dentist makes money off people with bad teeth, why would I use toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend? Continue ReadingIf a dentist makes money off people with bad teeth, why would I use toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel. Continue ReadingWife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
I changed my car horn to Gun Shots sounds… People move out of the way much faster now. Continue ReadingI changed my car horn to Gun Shots sounds… People move out of the way much faster now.
Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206. Continue ReadingDon’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Him: “I was a fool when I married you.” Her: “I know, but I was in love and didn’t notice.” Continue ReadingHim: “I was a fool when I married you.” Her: “I know, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
When i joke they take it seriously. When i’m serious they take it as a joke. Continue ReadingWhen i joke they take it seriously. When i’m serious they take it as a joke.
They said don’t give up your dream. So i went back to sleep. Continue ReadingThey said don’t give up your dream. So i went back to sleep.
