I changed my car horn to Gun Shots sounds… People move out of the way much faster now.

Teacher: Can you define who is lecturer?

When i joke they take it seriously. When i’m serious they take it as a joke.

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

Wife: It’s my bad luck that I married you. Otherwise, a lot of smart men were interested in me.

May be if we start telling people that the brain is an app, they’ll start using it!