I changed my car horn to Gun Shots sounds… People move out of the way much faster now.

Sometimes my brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it’s never found again.

Wife: It’s my bad luck that I married you. Otherwise, a lot of smart men were interested in me.

I have a Smartphone, Smart TV, Smart Fridge, and Smart AC, and I’m essentially the dumbest thing in my house.

Student! My father’s name is LAUGHING and mother’s name is SMILING.

I love sleeping, but I never want to go to sleep early…. We stay up late every night, regret it every morning, then do it all over again.