Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar…

When a Girl Says ‘What?’ It’s not because she didn’t hear you, She’s just giving you chance to change what you said.

Sometimes my brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it’s never found again.

Teacher: How old is your mother?