Why do we put Round Pizza in Square Box and eat it in Triangles? 

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong!

May be if we start telling people that the brain is an app, they’ll start using it!

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar…

Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

I have a Smartphone, Smart TV, Smart Fridge, and Smart AC, and I’m essentially the dumbest thing in my house.