Teacher: Test will be easy everyone will pass.

Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

Wife: It’s my bad luck that I married you. Otherwise, a lot of smart men were interested in me.

Why do we put Round Pizza in Square Box and eat it in Triangles? 

Student: Would you punish me for smoothing I didn’t do?

Son: Dad, why doesn’t the law allow us to marry more than once?

The best teacher in the world is that friend who teaches you everything 20 minutes before an exam.