Wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the doctor’s now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Husband! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

Student! My father’s name is LAUGHING and mother’s name is SMILING.

Him: “I was a fool when I married you.” Her: “I know, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

Teacher: Write Essay on Dog?

When i joke they take it seriously. When i’m serious they take it as a joke.

The best teacher in the world is that friend who teaches you everything 20 minutes before an exam.